Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

Yea, I know. It looks like I lay down on my keyboard when I was typing the title of this entry. But I really didn't. That's the name of a town we stopped in today. It's Welsh for "The church of Mary in the hollow of the white hazel near the fierce whirlpool and the church of Tysilio by the red cave." If you'd like to hear how it's pronounced, go here. More on that town a little later.

Early this morning we got up in Dublin and headed by bus, of course, to a port where we caught a ferry over to Wales. It was more than your average, every day ferry, though. It was ENORMOUS. Unfortunately, I do not have a picture of it, but the picture above is the view I had from my seat. From here I was watching the clouds and rain go by. It rained the whole way across the Irish Sea. I mean, it rained! You can't really see that from the picture, but trust me, it poured. The picture to the right is of the inside of the one of the nine floors. If you look closely, or if you blow up the picture, you can see that the woman sitting there is picking her nose. Can anyone say "snack time"? OK, that wasn't called for.

While we were on the "luxury liner", Jacob and his buddies played hide and seek on several of the floors. I only saw them about two times during the whole three hour tour (I've heard that somewhere before), but I figured they weren't going anywhere, right? I just sat in my seat and relaxed, read, played some games and dozed.

When we finally arrived in Wales it had stopped raining, thankfully. But before we knew it, we were through security (Passport, please. All right, have a nice time in Wales) and back on the bus. To the left you'll see Jacob with one of his buddies as we stepped off of the ferry. Gymru is how they spell it.

We were only in Wales for about six or seven hours, but one of those hours was spent in the aforementioned lovely little town of "The church of Mary in the hollow of the white hazel near the fierce whirlpool and the church of Tysilio by the red cave" (easier to say it that way).

Jacob ate a cookie and bought a sweatshirt for himself and one for his sister, we went over to the train station and took a few pictures and then it was time to, you guessed it, (all together now!) GET ON THE BUS, GUS! "Oh joy! Rapture"!

To the left you'll see Jacob getting back on the bus (he wasn't even forced!), and if you look closely you'll see our new bus driver. I don't remember his name right off, but he was grumpy. Just look at his face, for Pete's sake!!

Now, imagine, if you can, riding along on a Greyhound-type bus with a grumpy bus driver (Danny left us in Ireland - alas, no more Riverdance), the heater cranked up so far that it literally burns skin, and 50-60 tired, sweaty hungry folks headed for no-one-knows-where (but I bet it had a LONG name!).

That's the situation in which we found ourselves after leaving The Church of Mary (for short). And to top it all off, the bus broke down! Sitting by the side of the road while our bus driver threw a wet towel on the engine to cool it down, we were treated to The Village People and The Electric Slide. People dancing in the aisles, flailing their arms and hands all over the place, with the music set on full. Want proof? I give you, as evidence (to the right), The Dancing Queen (she's going to kill me).

Once the bus had cooled down a bit, we were back on the road again ("Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway").

We finally made it to a little town named Conwy, Wales, where our tour director cut us loose. She said she wanted us back in 3 1/2 hours, but other than that, we could do what we wanted.

Can you say "Release the Kracken"?

I just had to say that again.

So, here we are in this small town with a MONSTER castle called Conwy Castle and nothing else to do. Now this I can dig. What a paintball war grounds this place would make! It was SWEEEEEET!!

Built in 1288 by King Edward I, this place had battlements, draw bridges, dungeons and a wall that surrounded the entire town! We stopped in a little restaurant and ate some fish and chips (Jacob had chicken and chips), but the rest of the time we spent exploring the castle and walking the entire length of the wall. Talk about cool. This was one of my favorite parts of the trip.

While we were walking around the wall, we came to the little archway shown in the picture below.

Look carefully. You see Jacob on the other side? He's not holding his head, right? That means he looked at the little sign toward the top left of the arch and followed its advice.

Did his dad? You want to see the divot in my cranium?

I honestly didn't see the sign and didn't even notice that the archway was MUCH shorter than I am. Being short my whole life I'm not used to having to duck.

I mean seriously, how short were these people? The funny thing is, I took this picture BEFORE I whacked my head. How stupid am I?

No blood, thankfully, but I had a nice-sized headache the rest of the day, courtesy of Edward I, and an indentation in my skull that's only now starting to feel better. Thanks a lot Eddie.

It took us about an hour, but we finally made it all the way around the wall, just in time to get back on the bus. Coming into the town there is a very narrow archway that all buses must drive through to get to the castle. Our grumpy butt driver got our bus through it just fine, but our sister bus, with other kids from our same school, did not fare well. Their front door was ripped off. How's that for some fancy driving?

Little did we know that this would affect us a few minutes down the road.

So, here we are, motoring toward Manchester, England, everyone tired, hot and a little peevish, and what happens? You got it. The bus broke down again.

More dancing. More wet towels draped over the engine. More Village People. Argh!!

Now, I literally have several thousand songs on my Ipod and a couple hundred more on my Kindle Fire, both of which I had in my hands at this particular time. But I have absolutely ZERO by The Village People and ZERO that even mention sliding, much less with electricity. We had to listen to both, plus Adele.

Oh, please, sweet heaven, take me now!!

Coming soon - Part VI - London Calling