The End from the Beginning

I've become convinced of something in the last few months. It's something that has changed my life and maybe even extended it for who knows how long.

About five years ago I was sitting in my office at work minding my own business when my heart began to race for no apparent reason. I was sitting in a chair, for Pete's sake. I wasn't exercising, I wasn't climbing stairs. I was just sitting there.

It raced for what seemed like 45 minutes, but I'm sure it was closer to 2 or 3, at a pace of about 150-170 beats per minute. It scared the living stuffing out of me.

When it was over I immediately called Kelly and told her about it. She suggested calling my doctor, which I did. He got me in there and listened and did an EKG. Everything seemed fine.

It wasn't.

I started getting these things called PVC's, which stands for Premature Ventricular Contractions. They're benign, but it feels like your heart misses a beat, then beats really hard to get all of that extra blood out into your veins. And that's exactly what it is. It’s very disconcerting.

After a bunch of tests and studies that lasted upwards of a year, my cardiologist told me he wanted me to go into the heart hospital to get some things looked at. There were some abnormalities in my latest stress test and he wanted to be sure they weren’t what he suspected. He said it was probably nothing, but he wanted me looked at anyway. Exploratory and routine, I think, are the terms he used.

Nothing routine about it, it turns out.

My RCA (Right Coronary Artery) was 95% blocked and getting worse. I could have died. In fact, the doctor who did the operation told Kelly that she's lucky she’s not a widow. Ok, I don’t know that he used those words, but basically that's what he said.

That day, back in 2009, they put a stent in me and sent me home. Good as new, right?

For a while, yes. I felt like a million bucks. I could run all day. I could exercise as much as I wanted. I felt like Superman. I was bulletproof!!

Flash forward to a year later, and I'm having other heart issues, this time called Atrial Fibrillation. Now, AF is NOT benign and anything but routine. It's actually what caused me to go to the cardiologist in the first place. Your heart races for no apparent reason and does so on its own timetable. I could be sleeping and my heart would start to race, waking me up at all hours.

Not a fun thing.

So, I went in for that, too, and got an ablation, which is basically a cauterizing of the veins coming from your lungs. This makes it so that electrical charge can't jump over and make your heart start beating like mad.

Since the ablation was done in January, I've only felt it a handful of times. I feel great and I'm exercising almost every day with no repercussions. I’m up to almost 3 miles a day on the treadmill and Jacob and I have run in three 5k races together, with more to come. So far so good.

The thing is, I don’t believe this whole thing started just by chance. I've become convinced that the Lord, with one of His many tender mercies, sent the original AF to me in my office that day because He knew my arteries were getting clogged. He knew that I would stay the course with my eating and exercise habits and would eventually have a massive MI and keel over in my soup.

Believe me, I don't want to die. I love my life. I mean I LOVE my life. I have the best wife and best kids any man could ever hope to have. I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE.

I think know, that the Lord knew this. He gave me that initial heart problem so I would be prompted to go into the cardiologist so this whole mess would be found. I'm convinced of it, and I will never be able to think otherwise.

Just another example of how the Lord can see the end from the beginning.

I wish I could.

1st Annual Holiday Run for Smiles

Jacob is a runner. I've said it before...he's the runningest kid I've ever known. If we have to get somewhere, he'd rather run. If it's the end of baseball practice, he'll ask if he can run poles. I've never seen anything like it.

Lately we've been running in some 5k races to benefit this or that. This week we ran in the 1st annual Holiday Run for Smiles, which was held over in Vint Hill. It was to benefit some kids in third world countries who have no insurance to pay for dental work. As you can see from the pictures, it was a relatively chilly day, but we braved the wind and the weather to run anyway.

At the beginning of the races we run in, Jacob and I usually position ourselves toward the back of the pack since I'm not a fast runner and he likes to stay with me (I know, I don't understand it either). At the beginning of this race, I had to almost shove my way past a walker who would NOT get out of the way. You can see that in the picture on the right.

Finally on our way, we ran together for about a quarter mile. We decided that Jacob could actually win his age division, so he took off, leaving me far behind. After only about three minutes of running alone, I timed him and he was already a good 45 seconds in front of me. Go Jacob!

Since the course reversed itself at the mile and a half mark, I passed Jacob going the other way just after the mile marker. He was almost at two miles and bearing down quickly on the only other kid his age in front of him. But, as you can see, we crossed the finish line together. Just after passing the 2 1/2 mile mark, I saw him up in the distance. I figured he was coming back to tell me that he'd passed that kid and had won his age division.

But he wasn't.

He'd seen that the other kid had too much left in the tank to overtake him, looked back and saw me laboring and decided to throw the race and wait on his old man. What a kid, I tell you! What a kid!

I'm very proud of my son. I love him and cherish the time we have together. Unfortunately, he'll be 13 next month, just that much closer to leaving the nest. Believe me, I'm going to enjoy every single second of the next five years because after that my little buddy will be gone. Sniff.

Where did I put that box of Kleenex?

Tick Tock

Time.

Time out. Time flies. Time stands still.

Time to get up. Time to go to bed.

In the nick of time. Time heals all wounds.

Time after time. Time and again.

Time on your hands. Times they are a-changing.

We've all been given a certain allotment of this precious stuff. Some get more than others. No one knows how much time he's been given, whether it will be a lot or just a little.

Some use their time better than others. Some, like me, fritter away their time by sitting on the couch, making an irreparable indention with their butt, while vacantly absorbing inane drivel from the boob tube. Others, make the world a better place because of their wise use of time.

When the last grain of sand reaches the bottom of our personal hourglass, we'll be taken back to our God, who gave us life. It doesn't matter if you're famous, poor, handsome, or sad. Eventually, your time on this earth will end.

The life you build by your use of time, whether wise or otherwise, will be your yardstick in the life to come. What did you do with the gift God gave you?

I'm sure the officer who was killed yesterday at Virginia Tech thought he had a lot more time. Years, in fact. I mean, he was only 39. I'd wager that when he got up yesterday morning at his home in Christiansburg it never even entered his head that that very morning his hourglass would run dry.

You know what? It hardly ever does.

It comes like a thief in the night. You hardly ever suspect it.

This good and brave man left behind a wife and five children. Awful. Insidious. Horrible. Appalling. Shocking. Pick whatever adjective you like. I don't think you can overstate the tragedy of this situation.

I wonder if he left the house with a kiss for his wife and a heartfelt "I love you." I wonder if he squeezed each of his kids and let them feel how deeply in his heart they resided. I wonder today if they know how much daddy loved them.

It wouldn't surprise me if he did all of that and more.

But did you?

Time is running out.

I've Got Your Christmas Parade Right Here

Over the weekend we had our annual "Parade Day" in which Hannah dances in three (count 'em) parades in just two days. The first day's activities started with the 66th Annual Greater Manassas Christmas parade. She had to be there at 9:30am for the 10am start. I dropped her and Kelly off at the start of the parade and then drove to the end, parked, and waited. Kelly walked the entire length of the parade (about a mile or so), then we both waited for the star to come dancing down the street. We were able to leave at about 11:30. The picture at the right is from the end.

After a good workout on the treadmill, a nice cool shower and a quick bite to eat, we left for Fredricksburg, Charlie (our dog) in tow, for the Jaycees’ 2011 Fredericksburg Christmas Parade. Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures from that, but you can watch highlights here. I watched that video and did not see her company in it. She danced her way all along that parade route, too, which was probably about another mile.

Finally, the next day, we gathered all together (except the dog) and drove all the way to Baltimore for the 39th Mayor's Annual Christmas Parade. That route was about 2.5 miles and then it took us about another hour to get out of there because of all the traffic. The photo at the left is the group shot we took at the end. A full-sized Snickers bar goes to the one who can first correctly identify my little sweetie.

I sure am proud of her and her big brother. They both went through the whole two days with relatively little grouchiness. Jacob didn't have the distance to walk she did, but he was nevertheless a very good trooper when it came to supporting his sister. He stayed up late Friday night, so we let him sleep through the first one. But he was there for every other second, most of the time with a smile on, whether it was pasted there or not.

Needless to say, both of them slept well that night.

Frozen Gizzards

Jacob and I registered last week for the 9th annual Freeze Your Gizzard 5k race up in Leesburg. The whole thing started at about 9am and I must say that it was rather chilly. It was probably in the high 30's or so, but we were ready. Outfitted with sweatshirts and warm tuques, we set out on the 3.2 mile jaunt.

As it turns out, though, we didn’t start when everyone else did. In fact, we gave them all at least a one minute head start. Not only did I have a time tag tied onto my left shoe, but I also had one of those key pocket things tied to the other one. in case you don’t know what that is, I’ve included a picture here. Mine didn’t happen to be this brand, but it was very similar.

And what a piece of junk! Without exaggeration, we hadn’t run more than 25 yards when I looked down and saw it flapping in the wind. Quickly I reached down and felt inside, but there was no key. Jacob and I stopped dead in our tracks thinking that we were going to have to search far and wide just to find the darned thing. We were about 40 minutes from home, Kelly was working in Fairfax and Hannah needed to be picked up directly after the race was over. We were in big time trouble.

But again, the tender mercies of the Lord are great. We walked back toward the starting line and within 30 seconds we saw it lying on the ground. Jacob said it best when he said, “It’s a good thing you saw that when you did, Dad. We could have seen that when we were halfway through the race and then what would we have done?” He was absolutely right. The Lord was very, very good to us. I am very grateful.

Jacob volunteered to carry the key and the pouch the rest of the way. If you look carefully at the picture of him you can see them both in his hands. That’s him at the finish line. Notice that I’m nowhere to be seen. That’s because he left me (with my approval) and finished 9:06 seconds ahead.

The course was tough and really tired me out, but honestly, it was an honor and privilege to run this with my son. I was so proud of him. The course made a very large loop, coming back onto itself at about the 2 mile mark. When I was at the halfway point I saw him running down the hill at that two mile marker. A very large smile crossed my face and it lifted me the rest of the way. Don’t get me wrong. I was TIRED, but knowing that Jacob was in such good health and that he could run me into the ground made me as proud as could be.

The Good, The Bad and the Scary

I can't express to you how grateful I am to Heavenly Father today.

Yesterday, without rumor or warning, my Director, my boss and another good friend were laid off. Usually we hear rumblings about layoffs way in advance. This time there was nothing. Not a hint. Not a word. Not an allegation. They came to work yesterday and shortly thereafter just went home.

The good side of this is that it's really a notification of being laid off. The actually termination doesn't happen for another 30 days. Meanwhile you're still an employee and you get paid as usual. So, there is time to find something else.

The job market in this area is also relatively good, compared to the rest of the country. All three of them are talented and bright and will most likely fall directly on their feet. I have no doubt of that.

The bad part is that I feel so bad for all of them. What a rotten hand to be dealt...ever! My boss was always so easy to work for. He always had my back and went to bat for me on countless occasions. I will miss all three of them immensely.

The scary part is, it could have been anyone. Why I was spared, I can't tell you. It's certainly not because I'm more talented than they are, because I'm not. It wasn't because Heavenly Father loves me more than them, because He doesn't. I just don't know why it happened the way it did.

All I can tell you is that I'm thankful. Very, very thankful.

Sending Up Shoots - Conclusion

John and Elizabeth were married on a Friday afternoon when the honeysuckle was in bloom and the air was still cool. She wore a taffeta Alfred Angelo gown with crystal beading, sequins and a semi-cathedral train. John was dashing in his Jean Yves Diamant black over grey wool tuxedo. They were a couple taken directly off of the stereotypical wedding cake. Handsome, beautiful, happy.

During their courtship she was at first uneasy when she learned he kept a handgun in the house. It was a small .38 special that he kept in the small table at the start of the hallway, but he assured her that it had never been used. "It's just for protection," he said, gently. "It's New York, after all." She grew accustomed to it being there and soon forgot about it.

She was a little uneasy about his prior marriage, too, and asked him a time or two about it. Again, he tried to reassure her in his easy way, but she could still sense a bit of sadness about him that she attributed to that experience. Though he was happier than he'd ever been in his life, Elizabeth could tell he was still tormented by the memory. "She used to be part of my heart," he said, "now she's just a line on my face."

Only one time did she ask what had happened, but he wasn't in a hurry to volunteer information. He only replied that they'd grown apart and decided to go their separate ways. After that, Elizabeth preferred not to pay attention to the man behind that curtain.

Elizabeth, on her part, didn't volunteer much information about her past, either. She kept in touch with her parents, but all of the old friends were just gossamer ghosts from the past. She'd actually gone in and talked to her boss before leaving the islands, but she'd never given going back a second thought.

Her parents came to the wedding, of course. It was held at St. Michael's Church on West 99th Street. Neither John nor Elizabeth was a member of that congregation, but she'd loved the building so much since she moved to the city that they bribed the pastor there with promises of volunteer work and donations, to let them take their nuptials in his sanctuary.

Directly after throwing the bouquet and brushing rice out of their hair, John and Elizabeth jetted off to Key West, planning their lives together while snorkeling, deep sea fishing and swimming in the pristine waters. They were as deliriously in love as a couple could get.

Upon returning, they moved into her apartment, both spending pensive days staring out the window at the Empire State Building. Elizabeth often wondered how she had been so lucky to meet and marry such a wonderful man.

"Sweetheart, will you come help me?" she called to him, sinking her hands deeper into the steaming dishwater and picking up one of their dinner plates. It had been three months since their wedding and she was still happier than a woman had a right to be. He was everything she could have wanted; attentive, romantic, handsome and gentle.

John laid down the book he was reading and walked to her side. While they washed and dried, it had become his way to intentionally bump her with his hip from time to time, making an oinking sound that always made her laugh. It was a chore he cherished, being able to stand next to the one who'd saved him from his dark abyss.

They talked and laughed about their time in Florida, how they'd met and how she'd fallen for him the very first time she saw him in the Park. He accused her gregariously of spying on him. She grabbed his hands and plunged them deep into the soapy water with hers, the two of them splashing each other and giggling.

Drying each others hands when the job was finished, they stood gazing into each others eyes. The profundity of the love scared them both a little bit, but each loved it more than either could explain. There were just no words suffient and the word "love" seemed inadequate. They stood beside the sink, her back against the cool wetness of the stainless steel, embracing like it was the first time in their lives.

A rough knock on the door snapped them both out of their self-imposed reality.

"I'll get it," John said, giving her a peck on the cheek, walking through the library and into the living room while Elizabeth took herself to cleaning up the rest of the kitchen.

John reached for the lock and twisted it.

He turned the knob and opened the door.

In the open expanse stood Tony.

A confused smile came on Tony's face as John took a tremendous gasp and rushed into the hallway. Pulling the door quietly and quickly behind him, he whispered forcefully, "What are you doing here, Tony? I paid you this month! I don't owe you anything right now!"

Tony smiled broadly, showing the green decay that covered his teeth. "Relaxth, Johnny-caketh," he said. "I'm not here to thee you."

John tilted his head like a curious puppy. "What do you mean, you're not here to see me?" he asked.

Elizabeth hung the dishtowel on the rack next to the sink and made her way into the living room. Noticing the front door slightly ajar, she walked over and reached for the knob.

Her blood ran chill.

She stood, trembling, with her ear next to the door, barely breathing.

"Ha!" she heard him laugh. "You mean, she didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" asked John, becoming angrier as the seconds inched by.

Elizabeth reached for the knob.

And pulled.

John looked quickly over his shoulder at Elizabeth, and drew in a quick, desperate gasp of air.

Tony looked at Elizabeth, too.

And smiled menacingly.

"You!" exclaimed Elizabeth, looking straight into Tony's horrible face.

Tony opened his mouth wide and laughed, his whole body convulsing.

"Well, well, well, Johnny-caketh," he said between guffaws. "You and Lithy thitting in a tree! Ba ha ha ha!!"

The laughter poured out of him like water through a sieve as John straightened himself out, turned and looked at his new bride. "How do you know Tony?" he asked.

Elizabeth paid no attention to the query and looked intently at Tony instead. "What are you doing here, Jax?" she asked, disgustedly. "Why can't you guys leave me alone?"

Tony shook his head. "It'th not you guyth anymore, Lithy," he said. It'th jutht me now. He got pinched a couple of weekth after you dithapeared. He'th thitting in the thtate pen in Honolulu for ten to fifteen."

"I'm glad to hear it," Elizabeth said disgustedly. "He deserves more than that."

John looked at her inquisitively. "Who are you talking about, Elizabeth?" he asked. "And why are you calling him Jax? His name's not Jax. It's Tony."

"Not when I knew him it wasn't," she said, staring at Tony with fire in her eyes. "What do you want? I'm done working with you."

Tony stood next to John, his eyes wide open with surprise, chortling. "Wait a minute," he cried. "You mean you two haven't talked about your patht with each other? Ba ha ha ha ha!" He continued for what seemed like hours, guffawing with tears flowing down his cheeks. "Thith ith jutht tho preciouth!!"

John felt the ire rise in him like high tide at Coney Island. Then he saw the spark in Elizabeth's eyes, too. A tiny smile curled her lips and evil glowed from her eyes. John knew exactly what she was planning the second he saw it.

Looking back at the cackling Tony, John smiled broadly and said, "We were about to sit down to dinner, Tony," he lied, an infernal sneer forming itself like a crown on his lips. "Would you like something as well?"

"Yes! Please!" exclaimed Elizabeth wickedly. "Please come in and have something."

Tony wiped the tears from his eyes and took his first step, almost routinely, into the ample studio apartment. "Nithe plathe you got here," he said. "I'm thurprithed you can afford it!"

"Oh, we can't," John said, as he shut the door behind them.

"No, we really can't," added Elizabeth, as she walked briskly toward the small table at the start of the hallway.

The End

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"Secrets are like plants. They can stay buried deep in the earth for a long time, but eventually they'll send up shoots and give themselves away. They have to. It's their nature. Just a tiny green stem at first. Which slowly, insidiously grows taller, stronger, unfolding itself, until there it is. A big fat secret, right in front of your face; a fully bloomed flower perfumed with the scent of deception." — Judy Reene Singer

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Sending up Shoots - Part VIII

Elizabeth hadn't slept more than a couple of hours for weeks. She just couldn't get her brain to give it a rest. Hour after hour she would lie there, feeling the pillow get warmer and warmer, until she had to turn it over to get some relief. New York City summers, especially those without air conditioning, were sometimes very brutal.

Like an unwelcome neighbor, the memories of the last six months were a constant visitor to her conscience. She could still smell his aftershave, could still feel the way he caressed her hand, and the sick, weak feeling she had when she answered his question. She would regret saying that one word for the rest of her life.

When they arrived at the gate, Jax was already there, looking at his watch and pacing. He saw them when they were still halfway down the terminal. Grabbing his small bag and running toward them, he shouted, "Where have you been?"

Smiling, he grabbed Jax's hand and squeezed.

"How've you been, you old so and so?" he said.

Jax pulled his hand away and pointed at the clock across the terminal. "We got here a half hour ago," he exclaimed. "They think I'm talking in fifteen! What took you?"

"Nice to see you, too, Jaxxy!" he said, pulling Elizabeth closer. "I'd like you to meet someone very special to me, Jax. This is Elizabeth."

Elizabeth extended her hand and said, "Nice to meet you, Jax."

Jax shook her hand, but kept his eyes on him. "I've got to get over to the college, and I mean right now! Come on, we gotta get my bag!"

"What do you mean?" he asked. "I thought it was all starting tomorrow."

Jax shook his head. "No, no, no. I have to talk in fifteen! If I'm not there, we could come up short on a pantload of money from our client!!"

Jax wrung his hands and walked as fast as he could toward Customs and the baggage claim area. "I'm never going to make it! I'm going to get fired!"

"Jax, calm down!" he exclaimed, trying to keep up. "Customs won't take that long. Your clients will understand if you're just a couple of minutes late."

Jax stopped and stared at him directly in the eyes, lightly grabbing his collar in his right hand. "No, they won't!" he demanded. "You don't know them! If I'm not there, they'll go to another company! I'll be fired!"

"Wait, Jax," he said. "Elizabeth is a Custom's agent." Turning toward her he asked, "Isn't there something you can do, some way to get him through more quickly?"

Elizabeth loved him more than she'd ever loved anyone. She would have walked across fire. But all of her training screamed in her head. "No!" it exclaimed. "There's nothing you can do!"

She felt the anxiety deep in the pit of her stomach. She wanted to help Jax, desperately, but she'd been trained for just this sort of experience. Feeling her hands start to shake and her knees buckle, she heard herself say the word she never thought she'd utter in this situation.

"Sure."

A couple of weeks later he asked her to return to the airport again, and then another time three days later. Both times Jax had large bags that needed to skirt around the hovering Customs agents. Both times she helped, flashing her badge at the appropriate time. She trusted him, loved him, she wanted to be with him forever.

Until she found out what she'd been doing.

Sighing heavily and rolling back over onto her cooler side, Elizabeth remembered the distinct ring of her phone, now wishing she'd never answered the call. Late on a Thursday afternoon, six months before, he'd called her again and asked her to return to the airport with him. Elizabeth knew what she'd done was illegal, so she balked at the invitation. That's when he confronted her with the truth.

"What you don't realize, sweet Elizabeth, is that you've now helped us three times," he said. "Three times you've helped get illegal drugs into the United States. Three times you've become an accessory to a crime. Three times you've betrayed your training, your country and your agent friends. If you don't help us again, you WILL be turned in to the authorities with an anonymous phone call."

She shook her head and closed her eyes as she recalled how she'd packed her bags, bid farewell to her mom and dad, gone to the airport and bought a ticket for New York City...one way. Hopefully, he'd never be able to find her in such a big town.

Elizabeth raised her hand to her face and consciously swept away those distant memories, choosing instead to concentrate on the new ones she'd made since moving into her Brownstone on the upper West side. She'd found a good job, made a few new friends, and even met a handsome man in the Park who made it almost impossible to sleep.

The first time she saw him he was sitting on a small knoll just off one of the myriad jogging trails near the Lasker Ice Rink. She'd only been in town for a couple of weeks and was still too shy to talk to much of anyone, so she kept on her way.

Several days later she saw him again, this time making his way north toward Central Park West at Columbus Circle. He was going her way, so she followed him, about a block behind, until he turned down West 75th Street. She hurried to the corner so as not to lose him, but when she looked down the street all she saw was the requisite 60 cars parked along both sides and a large pile of gravel and dirt surrounded by traffic cones. He was gone.

She finally met him two weeks later, on a cool Autumn day when the wind was blowing and the leaves were starting to turn. Standing on the corner just outside her Brownstone, she lifted her hand to hail a cab.

After five minutes of unsuccessful attempts, a yellow taxi stopped in front of her. Stepping toward the cab she gripped the door's handle and pulled. Sticking her head inside she looked up and he was there. Sitting next to her.

"I..I..I'm sorry," she said nervously, quickly. "I didn't know this was your cab."

She was starting to back out when he reached out and touched her hand.

"Please," he said. "Share it with me."

Elizabeth breathed deeply, feeling her heart quiver like it had done only one other time. "Thank you," she replied. "That's very thoughtful of you."

She could barely contain her excitement. Her hands trembled as she gripped the handle and closed the door.

"My name is Elizabeth," she said, again feeling no more than twelve years old.

"Nice to meet you, Elizabeth," he replied. He stuck out his hand and shook hers firmly, smiling intently.

"My name is John."

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Coming soon - The Conclusion

Sending up Shoots - Part VII

The gun butt felt smooth and warm cradled in John's hand. It was hidden in his trousers pocket, but his sweaty palm held it nervously as he waited at the usual train Central Park North station.

It had been three months since she'd left. Once she realized that money was disappearing from their account, no amount of pleading could dissuade her from leaving. John didn't blame her in the least. In her position, he may have left, too. He couldn't tell her the truth. That would only have pushed her out the door more quickly. But two weeks of his cryptic explanations didn't help either. She was gone and he'd received the papers in the mail just yesterday.

It commenced the morning after his epiphany concerning Tony. It was a Saturday, early, and she'd just gotten up to make some fresh orange juice and toast. It was their favorite and they shared it almost every weekend.

John was still lying in the bed when he heard her say his name softly.

"John?"

"Yes, sweetie?" he replied, turning the pillow over beneath his head, unaware of the bomb that was soon to hit his world.

"I think someone's getting into our bank account."

His heart beat wildly and his hand shook as he turned over in bed and tried to feign unconcern.

"What do you mean?" he asked, his voice shaking only slightly.

There was a short pause, silence, while she looked harder at the computer screen. John began to breathe more heavily. He closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable.

He heard her walking into the bedroom, her pink, fluffy slippers slapping lightly on the hardwood floor. His mind raced out of control. He turned his back to her so he could pretend to be asleep. But the question came anyway.

"John, what have you been buying? All of these withdrawals have your name on them."

There it was. Waterloo. The demon he'd been waiting for all these years. Finally his horrible secret had sent up the diabolic shoots that would utterly destroy his marriage. He'd been required to pay an inexorable price for his deception.

Today, Tony would reimburse him.

John rubbed his chin with his other hand as the 4:01 train whistled by on its way to West 96th Street. The subway stations always smelled like the inside of someone's toilet. "How fitting to be meeting Tony in such a cesspool," he thought.

As the breeze from the train subsided, the familiar guttural voice echoed in John's ears.

"Nithe to thee you on time, Johnny-cakth," it said.

Turning only slightly so as to hide the fact that he was packing, John looked at the source of the voice over his shoulder and shivered. Tony was dressed in his usual dirty black jeans and flannel shirt, but this time a beat-up, old overcoat hid most of his imposing frame. The slime-green eyes shown wickedly in the florescent light.

"You got the money?" he asked, smiling broadly, showing cavity-ridden teeth he obviously never brushed.

John closed his eyes. Squeezing the gun butt even more firmly, he started to pull it from his pocket. He extended his finger and placed it gently on the trigger.

Opening his eyes he looked around the station. There was no one in sight. They were alone. It could be done now and no one would know.

"Don't make me athk again, Johnny," Tony said. "You got the money?"

John could feel his hand shake as the adrenaline coursed freely through is veins.

"Kill him!"

The sound echoed in his brain and seared his conscience like a branding iron.

"Kill him!!"

It shouted even louder.

"KILL HIM!!!"

John looked at Tony and knew he'd never be free of him. He would continue to demand money every month until one of them was dead.

But John also knew that he was not a killer. Releasing his grip on the pistol he reached in his coat pocket and retrieved the wad of bills.

Looking at it forlornly in his still shaking palm, John handed it over to Tony.

"That'th a good boy, Johnny" said the villain. "I heard she left you. Mutht be tough being alone, eh Johnny-boy?"

The sound of those words plucked John's last nerve and almost forced his hand back into his pocket.

"Don't bring her into this!" he demanded, gripping the handle and pulling it halfway out. "Don't you ever bring her into this!"

Tony smiled and shoved the money deep inside his overcoat. "Nice day officer!" he said.

John reflexively jammed the pistol back into his pocket, as deep as it would go. He turned his head toward the tracks and waved at one of New York's finest who was walking his beat. "Afternoon, officer," he said, waving nervously with his free hand.

"You're lucky this time, Tony!" he said softly, only to find that Tony was already ten feet away.

"You thay thomething, Johnny?" Tony asked, turning to face the visibly shaken John.

John shook his head. "No," he said limply, looking at the disgusting floor.

"I didn't think tho," Tony replied, as he turned and went up the stairs.

Coming soon - Part VIII

Sending up Shoots - Part VI

"I've got to pick someone up at the airport," he said. "You want to come with?" Elizabeth nodded enthusiastically. "Sure," she said. "I can even get us a better parking spot." "Really?" he said. "You can do that?" "Hey, baby," she replied, smiling broadly. "I'm a Customs Agent. I can park just about wherever I want." He shook his head and laughed. "I didn't know you were such a big shot." Elizabeth blew on her fingernails and rubbed them on her shoulder in mock pride. "Oh, yea! I'm Miss Important!" "Well, you are to me," he said, putting his arm around her, pulling her close and kissing her on the cheek. "You are to me." Arriving at the Honolulu airport Elizabeth parked in one of the reserved Customs parking slots next to the main terminal. It was her usual spot, though she was a little surprised that it was empty on her day off. She had always thought that Scott parked there when she wasn't around. "Is this close enough?" she asked. She looked over at him in the passenger seat and lost her breath once again. It happened whenever she looked at him and caught him directly in the eye. He was so gorgeous. She let out an almost unnoticeable sigh as he exclaimed "Are you kidding? Makes me wish I was an agent or something so I could park this close. I always have to park so far away and lug my bags all over creation. This is great!" Elizabeth turned the car off and removed the key. Opening her door she said, "You never did tell me. Who are we picking up here, anyway?" He took a step out of the car and looked at her over the roof. "Oh, just my old college buddy," he replied, shutting his door. He walked toward the back of the Altima and straightened his sunglasses. "His name is Jax and we were frat brothers back in college. He's going to attend some conference over to the University. He'll be pretty busy while he's here, so this is really the only chance I'll get to see him." "Awfully nice of you to come pick him up," said Elizabeth as she walked through the door he held open for her. "You've only been back on the island two days yourself." "I know," he replied, "but Jax was my best friend and I haven't seen him for about five, six years. When I heard he was coming I knew I had to see him." Walking into the second floor lobby, Elizabeth said hello to Sam, the HPD cop who always seemed to be standing near the overseas terminal. "Waiting for Polly again, Sam?" she asked, amusingly. Sam smiled and pointed down toward where Polly worked. Sure enough, she was walking down the concourse, dressed in her traditional Hawaiian muu muu and lei. "Hi, Bethy," she said, smiling broadly. "Busman's holiday?" Elizabeth smiled. "Yea, just call me Ralph Kramden today," she said, laughing heartily. "I should learn to stay away from here on my days off." Polly giggled as Sam grabbed her and gave her a hug. "And so, that must make you Ed Norton, right?" she asked, sticking her hand out toward him, her eyes twinkling. Elizabeth looked at him shyly and realized that these were the first friends who'd met him. Red-faced and feeling like a 9-year old school girl admitting for the first time that she liked boys, she introduced him to the engaging couple. Polly grabbed his hand with both of hers and shook it enthusiastically. "Nice to meet you," she said, enraptured. Sam just waved weakly and exclaimed "Hey, any friend of Elizabeth's!" "Nice to meet you all, too," he replied, smiling broadly. Polly giggled and looked at Elizabeth with those same school-girl eyes. No words were spoken, but Elizabeth could tell that Polly was smitten as well. "We should probably go, sweetheart," he said, pointing to his watch. "Don't want to miss Jax." Elizabeth looked at him and shook her head. "Oh, right. Yea, we've got to go," she replied. Waving her hand and walking toward the gates she turned her head and said, "See you guys tomorrow!" Walking down the concourse he grabbed her hand. He squeezed it gently and looked at her with one eye. "Bethy?" he said, raising his eyebrows and pursing his lips. Elizabeth squeezed his hand and chuckled. "Watch it, bub," she said, pointing at him with the index finger of her other hand. "That's for Polly only." Coming soon - Part VII -------------

Sending up Shoots - Part V

John laid in the coal black stillness of the night and listened to her sleeping. He'd discovered that when he kept deathly still he could feel the bed move ever so slightly under her deep, REM breathing. For countless nights he'd lain next to her, wishing the whole association with Tony was over and praying for sleep to come take him. But it was far from over and sleep was always most elusive. On those rare nights when sleep wasn't so shy, she'd invariably wake him with a careful nudge in the back. "You're grinding your teeth again," she'd say sweetly. "What's wrong?" Turning towards her he'd brush it off as stress at the office, but he was beginning to wonder how long she'd buy it. She was an intelligent woman, Rutgers-educated, and sooner or later she was going to figure out there was something else. He'd always loved his job. Working for Bob had been a pleasure. Why would there all of a sudden be so much tension that he awoke with sore hands from the clenching? It just didn't make sense. Bob had noticed the change in him, too. John had been working on a project he really enjoyed, but now his work looked almost as if he had no professional training whatsoever. They'd talked about it in the privacy of the large conference room, but again John passed it off as not getting any sleep at night. He even blamed her for snoring too loudly. He could think of nothing else. The chains of guilt racked his conscience day and night. There seemed to be no way out, as if he were trapped in a never-ending maze. Every time he thought he'd reached an exit, Tony's ugly face greeted him with a canine snarl. Having thought about it for weeks, John had decided that there was only one way out. He would have to keep paying Tony, month after month, year after year. Some time soon, though, their bank account was going to run dry. She was bound to notice that there was a lot of money missing the next time she balanced the checkbook. And when the well did dry up, Tony would be a piece of goose down on the doorstep of everyone he knew and loved. The slightest breeze would send the secret all over town. John shook his head. "That won't work," he mouthed to himself. "There's got to be another way." Slowly, John's eyes focused on the sliver of light coming through the curtains from the all-night diner across the street. He thought of all the wonderful times he'd spent with her: their first date, their trips to the Adirondacks, surfing on Hawaii's north shore. It was the most wonderful life anyone had ever lived. But if she was to find out, it would all be over. Suddenly a new thought poured into his mind like water into a cup. His eyes widened and he felt himself wretch. "No," he said, almost too loud. Shaking his head and closing his eyes, the words "I can't" escaped his trembling lips. Stirring slightly, she turned toward him and whispered, "You can't what?" John held his breath and pretended to be waking up. Taking a long breath to help him gather his thoughts, he said "What?", fake-yawning halfway through. "Did you say something?" she responded, pulling the covers up over her silky shoulders. "I didn't say anything, sweetie. You must have been dreaming." John hated lying to her, but in this case, he thought, maybe it was for the best. What she didn't know would surely not hurt her. "Ok," she said and turning back on her left side fell quickly back to sleep. John pushed at the air above him as if he could push the thought away. But it kept coming back, hour after hour. Finally, just before daybreak, he opened his eyes to the frightening truth. Tony was the only one in the world who knew about the awful truth he wanted so desperately to keep hidden. There was only one way out. And now John knew it. Tony had to be eliminated. Coming soon - Part VI

Sending up Shoots - Part IV

Peering over her menu at him, Elizabeth couldn't help but think about how breathtaking he was. Playful dimples on his clean-shaven cheeks, muscles chiseled from several years of semi-pro baseball and free weights he had in his garage, and blond hair baked even lighter in the sun. Physically, anyway, he was everything she'd been looking for in her life. Refocusing on her menu, she looked back on the activities of the ten days since she'd met him. She'd seen him every day and he'd proven himself emotionally, financially, intellectually and even romantically. On the third day he'd brought her a golden charm bracelet with a fish, a snorkel and a heart wrapped around the top of a dozen red roses. Tonight was his last on the island. It had to be the best. "What are you going to have?" she asked, almost shyly. His smoky eyes scanned the entrees on the menu and finally settled on one entry. "I think I'll have the Chicken Parmigiana," he said with a smile. "How about you?" Lost in the profundity of his eyes, she mumbled vapidly, "I think I will, too." As much as she reflected on it, she still didn't understand it. She was a face in the crowd, a generic wanderer. He was beautiful, the one who sticks out in a group, a shining light. Why would such a man be interested in her? Their first real date had come the very night after their fated meeting on the beach. He'd picked her up in his rental car and took her to a small, intimate beach he'd read about that afternoon on line. Reaching into the back seat he lifted out a picnic basket and a large blanket he'd bought at the local department store. They dined like royalty on fried chicken and baked beans. "Would you like extra toast with that as well?" said the waiter. Suddenly and quickly coming back to reality, she felt like she'd just driven down a stretch of road and didn't remember one second of it. She hadn't heard a word he'd said, but now realized she'd order just the same. "S-s-s-sure," she stuttered, lifting her napkin to her mouth to try and somewhat hide her glowing cheeks. "Are you all right?" he asked. "You seem like you're somewhere else." She lowered her head slightly, pausing to look at the slight cleft in his chin. Smiling softly she nodded. "I'm fine," she said. "I have just been thinking about the last ten days and how much I'm going to miss you." He reached out and took her hand. Tenderly he caressed her soft, tanned skin. "It'll only be a few days," he said softly. "We can Skype and then I'll be back. It will almost feel like nothing." He smiled and melted her heart all with one deft move. She would have given him anything. And he knew it. Coming soon - Part V

Sofia

Unfortunately for us, Sofia has gone home to Spain.

For those of you who did not get the opportunity to meet her, Sofia was a Spanish exchange student here to learn English. She was with us for less than a month, but she made a very large impression on all of us. We are a better family for her having stayed in our home.

Little did we know when she arrived late last month, that we would learn to care so much about this young Spaniard. I guess we figured that she'd be going to English class so much during the day that we'd never have much time to get to know her.

But as the month progressed, we noticed that she was in class a lot less than we'd bargained for. And we're all grateful for that fact. As you can see from the photos, we were able to go to New York City and to Washington, DC with her. She also went to a lot of Jacob's baseball games and Hannah's dance practices.

But it was more the times when we were just sitting around the house or doing something close to home, as a family, in which we really got to know and love her.

Her infectious laugh, her easy way with the kids, her effusive thankfulness for anything anyone did for her. It was easy to like her. Now it's much harder to love her, because she's not with us.

One day, maybe, she'll be able to come back. I think I speak for everyone in my family when I say, that day can't come soon enough.

Sending up Shoots - Part III

Walking briskly through the turnstiles at the Central Park North station, John gripped the satchel tightly and glanced quickly from side to side, expecting him to emerge suddenly from the inky shadows like an evil specter. He tapped his Red Wing postman shoes nervously as he thought about the past year and what it would mean if his secret were let loose on the wind. It was the worst episode in his life and he wanted to keep it that way. Dealing with Tony would be child's play compared to the pain it would cause his friends and family if his unimaginable secret got out. Pushing past the other weary travelers on the platform, John looked down the tunnel toward the oncoming light. The rumble of the train moved from the platform and entered his feet , moving rapidly from cell to cell until his whole body shook. The squeaky brakes yelled in his ears as a fat, hairy index finger tapped him on the shoulder. Wheeling quickly, John caught the savage eyes he'd now despised for nearly a year. They were a disgusting shade of green, almost like something you'd find in the subway restroom. Every time John saw them he felt like he'd taken a bath in sewage. "Nithe to thee you again, Johnny-caketh," said Tony in his awful mixture of lisp and South Bronx accent. The sound of it made John's stomach turn. Tony grabbed John by the arm of his coat and pulled him behind the others in the station. "You got the money?" he said. Without saying a word nor looking his blackmailer in his horribly deformed face, John opened the satchel and showed him the cash. The requisite $5000 lay therein, and it brought a toothy grin to the villainous thug's lips. "That'th a good boy, Johnny," he said, reaching for the bag. "Thame time nextht month?" John looked deeply into the eyes he'd so easily learned to despise. Narrowing his own eyes to try and block out some of the rest of the hideous face, John handed the satchel to Tony. "How can you do this?" he asked with the proper amount of disdain in his voice. "How can you do this evil thing to me every stinking month?" Tony laughed. Spittle hit John's face as Tony folded the satchel under his arm and put his nose at the tip of John's. "How could you do what you did, Johnny?" he whispered eerily. "From what I remember, you thaid it made you the thcum of the earth, didn't you? Seemth like what you did ith way worth than taking a few buckth from you every month. Wouldn't you agree, Johnny?" Looking at the shoes he'd so carefully shined that morning, John turned and walked toward the exit, Tony's harsh laugh echoing in his ears. Tears started to form in his eyes and he let loose the biggest sigh of his life. "When will this ever end?" he thought. "Thee you in a month, Johnny-boy!!" yelled Tony. "Ba ha ha ha!!" ------ Coming soon - Part IV

Gainesville National League All-Stars Greatest Hits

The Gainesville National League All-Stars (11/12) finished third in the Virginia District 10 in 2011, beating a good Coles team (3-2), Annandale/North Springfield National (13-0) and SYA West (16-13). As coaches, we are VERY proud of each of the boys. The following shots were taken during the Coles game and the Chantilly American game. Congratulations boys!!

Gainesville National League All-Stars - Part II

Pictures from the game against Chantilly American, 07/14/11

Sending up Shoots - Part II

Elizabeth dipped her clenched fist into the warm seawater and opened it slowly. She was not disappointed when the water before her became a roiling morass of orange, black, purple and yellow. It had happened the same way hundreds of times. Fighting each other for a share, Mamo, Kikakapu and countless other smaller fish jabbed and parried at the tiny niblets of fish food that laid in her palm. It was a really tourist-y thing to do, she thought, but she enjoyed it as much now as she had her first time there.

Elizabeth had been to Hanauma Bay a hundred times since her dad was transferred to Pearl Harbor in 1977. She was only five when he was promoted to captain and assigned duty on the USS Columbia. To ease the pain of leaving some of her kindergarten friends in San Diego, he'd bought her a Bugs Bunny diving mask and a matching snorkel on their first day on Oahu. She still had them in a box, stuffed in the attic. Numerous other pairs had found their way into her possession in the 25 years since, including the one she wore on top of her head.

“Excuse me.”

Elizabeth continued feeding the fish, acknowledging the voice with an almost imperceptible "Mmm hmm". It was another fat, sunburned tourist, no doubt, asking again one of the vapid questions she'd heard a million times before.

“Hi. Um, I have been watching you feed the fish," said the voice, "and was wondering if you could tell me where I can buy some of that food. It looks like fun.”

"I knew it," she said to herself, though barely silently. Closing her eyes to keep her frustration bottled inside, and shaking her hand to clear away the rest of the kernels, Elizabeth stood erect and wheeled toward the voice.

"Listen," she said impatiently as she turned. Taking in a large breath, she was ready to unleash it on the unsuspecting intruder. "I...I...I..."

Stammering in front of him, seawater just covering her knees, she wriggled her toes an inch deeper into the sand. He was the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen. His gray eyes shot shivers through her skin. The proverbial Hawaiian shirt he wore barely concealed a muscular, tanned frame that had been fine tuned in a garage gym. Playful dimples danced on his cheeks.

“I..I..I’m sorry?” she muttered, trying to buy herself some time to recover.

“The fish food. I’d like to buy some. Can you show me where to get it?”

Looking into her now empty hand, she laughed nervously and pointed to the kiosk on the edge of the beach. “Over there,” she spluttered. “Over there. It’ll cost you 50 cents.”

“Thanks,” he said, turning slowly and gracefully as he smiled and winked.

Elizabeth watched him intently for a few seconds before she found herself instinctively walking after him. She felt drawn like the needle on a compass. It was an attraction that reached to her most central fiber.

“Excuse me?” she called.

Stopping, he turned quickly towards her.

She looked quickly at the white, sandy beach. Instantly she was 12 again, asking Heath Gilbert if he'd like to go to the 6th grade dance. “Ask!” her brain shrieked at her. “Ask!!”

Furrowing her brow, she gripped her courage with all her might and said, “Would you like to feed the fish with me?”

--------------------

Coming soon - Part III

Sending up Shoots - Part I

"That's not a real word!" she exclaimed, setting her Diet Pepsi back down on the table with a sudden plop. "Crapulous? Come on! There's no way that's a real word."

John smiled. "You going to challenge it?" he asked. "I'm warning you, though. I just got that word on my word calendar a couple of days ago. Trust me," he added, with a villainous gleam in his eye.

Yea, trust you, she thought. She loved John more than life, even waiting anxiously for him to pop the question, but trust him? In a game? "I don't think so," she said.

Sliding the Webster's toward her, he watched as she flipped the cover open and thumb quickly toward the C's. "Are you sure?" he said, baiting her. "You'll be sorry!"

The sound of his patronizing tone grated her nerves like 40-grit sandpaper. She hated it more than anything she could think of, but it was worse during competition. John had this air of superiority slathered all over his 6 foot 1 inch frame and it never ceased to make her feel like she was trying to catch a greased pig.

"Crap!" she said as finger fell upon the word. She could feel her one remaining nerve twitch. "It's no fun playing Scrabble with you," she whined.

"Why? Because I'm so devastatingly handsome?" he asked, smacking his hands together and leaning over for a kiss.

She peered at him through slatted eyes and paused ever so briefly before leaning over to reciprocate. "No," she muttered. "It's because you're so smug."

Though nearly imperceptible, John noticed the slight hesitation and it pierced him like an ancient sword. She wasn't the first to slight him in such a manner, but that whole series of unfortunate events had taken years to be excised from his heart. Now he felt the pain again like an aching fire.

He had searched his soul on countless occasions, hunting for the right words to tell her about his past. He'd wanted to confess the foul deed to her a thousand times, but the courage always seeped away before he could get the secret out.

"What is it, John?" she'd ask him quietly in some of their most intimate moments. It was like she was looking through him with a magnifying glass, examining every dark corner of his existence. She always had that way about her. Though never intrusive, she could get to the real subject of the matter with amazing alacrity.

"It's nothing," he found himself muttering on more than one occasion. "Really, it's nothing. I'm fine."

Tonight, peering anxiously for rescue out the back window of his studio apartment, John could see the Empire State Building glowing like a lighthouse warning lost souls on a foggy evening. She cuddled up next to him, letting her hand rest on his and accidentally spilling half of the Scrabble tiles on the floor.

"It's beautiful tonight, isn't it?" she said, looking toward the radiant monolith.

John sighed. "It's always beautiful," he replied, looking deeply into her soft blue eyes. "Always."


-----------

Coming soon - Part II

Gainesville National League All-Stars

Pictures from the game at Coles, won 3-2 by Gainesville.