Thursday, November 29, 2012

The Stream That Runs Through My Brain

The ducks swim faster than I can run, I bet. They have hoods on their heads. I guess that's why they call them hooded mergansers.

A new email! Oh, they want me to donate my blood. Yea, I don't think so. Why would I do that when it hurts and makes me feel woozy?

One time, while I was on my mission, my Argentine companion donated blood and thought he would be incapacitated for several days. I told him that wasn't true, that he'd only be weak for a little while. He didn't believe me, but I was proven right. I never did get along with him very much. He took a nap every day during lunch and we didn't work. What that has to do with the ducks, I don't know.

I wonder sometimes what's really inside my brain. I know there's grey matter and a big pink thing in there, but really, how does my brain work? A bird just flew past my window and another duck swam past on the shimmering pond. Geez! That light shines right in my eyes. I can barely see them. Maybe I should put down my blinds.

You know, the first time they took blood out of me, two little test tubes worth, I fainted and fell on the floor like a sack of old spuds. I awoke in the chair with a nurse hovering over me, rubbing the back of my neck and shoving an ammonia capsule up my nose. I learned from that experience and never watched them take it again. So far, so good. I'm not very good with the sight of blood. Makes me feel oogy.

I'd like to be more observant. Maybe I should take a class or something. I don't notice what people wear and I can't remember what I ate for lunch yesterday. I'll remember tomorrow what I eat today, though. Papa John's pizza with peperoncinies. Yea, baby!

What was that? Oh, just a car going by out in the parking lot. Quick! Look again! Nope, just a car.

That hole in my tooth is getting larger, I think. I can fit my tongue into it quite easily now. I'm too chicken to go to the dentist about it. I know they're going to want to yank a couple of teeth out of my head, or give me another root canal or two. I'm too much of a sissy to have to endure that again. I'll just have to die with it the way it is. I can see it now. Some day, thousands of years from now, some archeologist will dig me up, look at my mouth and think I'm a missing link.

That's what all of those ...

A helicopter! I wonder what he's doing flying around here. Looking for something, I bet. Maybe some dope. You know, it shows up purple from the air. Not sure why. I was in a helicopter once. Pretty fun to fly around like that. I'd like to learn to fly, but I'm poor and can't afford the lessons. Too bad. I would have make a great helicopter pilot.

What was I thinking about? Oh, yea. All of those "missing links" and huge skulls they find. Just normal people who had not-so normal deformities. They're not a different species or anything like that. I think if those guys knew that archeologists were digging them up and calling them missing links they would get a big kick out of it. "I'm just a regular guy with an abnormally large forehead, not some forerunner to modern man." I can hear the snickering now.

Squirrel!!

Maybe I should go into the lab and get some work done. The ducks are congregating. Whoa, there's another car parking in the lot. I wish I could park in that lot. It's right next to my window, for pete's sake. But no. I have to park in the back and walk a half mile to my cube when I could walk about 25 feet. Who is that getting out of the car? Just some guy. He can't see me look at him. I could make faces at him and he'd never know. The windows are too reflective.

Wow, how many ducks are there? Hmm, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven...

Who is that that just walked by my window? Just some guy. I should really get some work done. Drink some water. It's good for you. My lips are chapped. I guess I'm not drinking enough.

What do I have to do tonight? Take Hannah to dance class, maybe. Ha! Don't have to get on the treadmill, though, because I'll go to basketball instead. I've got to find more referees for the stake season coming up. I don't want them calling too many games on a Saturday.

Only another 55 minutes left until I can eat my pizza. I love Papa John's pizza. Another email. This one's about our lab. Ok, ok! I'm going! Gotta get back to the lab. I should rewrite the ending to that story. It didn't make much sense.

Neither does this entry, I guess, but that's the way I think. Shaking my head won't make it any better, either.

And Kelly wonders why I keep forgetting things. There's just too much going on up there. All the new stuff won't fit.

-----------------

2 comments:

bNdZfam said...

Dude, you funny. What the heck were you on? Are you sure you didn't just get back from the dentist- sucking on some gas before making this post? Hmmmm, I like the way you think... squirrel!

bNdZfam said...

.... I forgot to say, I also gave blood in Argentina. I did get sick. I don't know how many times they poked my arm and how much blood they drained. I just about fainted on the colectivo...but, I'm a baby, I can't even stand "tweezing" my nose hairs :D