Keep It Pure

Let's get the disclaimer out of the way right from the beginning:

When it comes to baseball, I'm a traditionalist, and maybe even somewhat of a purist.

I believe in Lou Gehrig and Mickey Cochran. I didn't like it when they put lights on Wrigley Field. I don't like the DH. Artificial turf is a sin against nature.

I believe in doubleheaders, day games, wool uniforms and stirrups. I liked knowing that I could root for Mickey Mantle his whole career. Throw in some apple pie, a Chevrolet and a hot dog or two and you've got America at its absolute finest.

And while we're at it, let's play two.

Baseball is the greatest sport in the world. It's the only sport in which a fan could realistically believe that the players of yesteryear could have been better than the players of today.

And that's where my real subject comes in.

This week the Baseball Writers of America failed to vote anyone into the Hall of Fame. And for my money, that's exactly what they should have done.

Let's face it. A lot of these guys are cheaters, plain and simple. They may have been exonerated in a court of law, but come on. You and I both know that they took PEDs and the rest is just spit and giggles. Marian Jones kept saying she was clean, too, but it didn't make it so. Now we all know better.

We all know better when it comes to some of these guys, too. Bonds? He's guilty people. He took PEDs and we all know it. If you knew him in real life, instead of this sham world in which everyone pretends to believe that your head can grow like that after you're already 30-years old, you would think he was a freak. NOBODY'S head grows like that! And his feet grew from a size 10.5 to a 13! Come on, folks. Let's get real.

Rocket? I used to be a big fan. He'd repented of being a part of Red Sox Nation to finally sidle up to the bar at the Evil Empire. I was happy when he was acquitted. I hoped he'd come back one more time. I even had a Roger Clemens action figure on my desk at work, for Pete's sake.

Now I believe he was guilty all along. He took PEDs. We all know he did. He can continue to affirm that he didn't, and we'll all pretend to believe him, but when it's all said and done, he's guilty.

Sosa? Same thing.

Palmeiro? Ditto.

McGwire? Yup.

Don't get me wrong. I believe there are some guys on this ballot who were clean. Craig Biggio for one. I don't think he's a first ballot Hall of Famer, but I think eventually he should be enshrined.

Jack Morris is another one. Not first ballot or second, and maybe not even 14th, but an eventual Hall of Famer, sure.

But those who took PEDs, in my opinion, should NEVER get into the Hall of Fame. Here's why.

Think back to high school. You're sitting in Mrs. McKee's Algebra II class and you're starting to sweat. Your buddy, who sits next to you, is always getting better grades than you. You're taking a test and you don't know some of the answers. You want to get good grades, too. So what do you do? You let your eyes wander to your buddy's paper. You copy his answer. You cheat.*

The only trouble is that Mrs. McKee is expert at catching cheaters, and before you can write down "Associative Property" she's grabbed your paper, torn it in half and ordered you to the Principal's office. Once there, the principal tells you it's your third offense.

You are summarily suspended from school.

Other than your parent's boot sticking out of one of your orifices, what do you now reasonably think you can expect? Election to the National Honor Society? Nomination as Student Body President? Your number retired on a banner in the gym? Um, no.

What you can expect is an uphill road. No elections. No enshrinements. You get kicked out of school.

And if you're studying at West Point, you're gone for good. Don't come back and don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Same thing here. Reward these guys for cheating and you validate that cheating. You tell kids that it's all right to cheat, as long as you excel at whatever you do. The Hall of Fame, and America, would never recover.

What do we do with these players, some of whom were the "greatest players in their generation"? I don't know. I wish I did. Do you invalidate all of their numbers? Do you alter the record book? Make Hank Aaron and Roger Maris the greatest home run hitters of all time...again? I don't know. But that's the way I would lean.

One thing I do know. Cooperstown is a beautiful, small town jam-packed with rustic America. There are picket fences, houses with wrap-around porches and a beautiful, glimmering lake. When you visit, it's almost like you go back in time to when all was right in the world. It's filled with what's right with America.

So is the Hall of Fame. Let's keep it that way.

If Bonds, Sosa, Rocket and their ilk want in the Hall of Fame, they can get in the same way I do.

Buy a ticket.

* Here's my second disclaimer. I didn't cheat. I knew plenty who did, but I'm clean. Hmm. That may sound a little like someone we've been talking about.

---------