Indulge Me

Come with me, if you will, while I take a short sojourn in history. Today we'll be visiting the year 1517 and a dude named Martin Luther.

Martin Luther was a Catholic priest in Germany who strongly opposed the sale of "indulgences". Remember that an indulgence was a temporary forgiveness of sin. According to the church, after you had shaken off this mortal coil, an indulgence could actually shorten the time you had to spend in purgatory In Luther's day, these indulgences were being sold for money.

Luther didn't cotton to that idea very much. He vehemently disputed the teaching that God's forgiveness could be sold, and so he wrote up his "Ninety-Five Theses" and nailed them to the door of All Saints Church in Wittenberg, Germany (picture to the right). When he refused to retract his theses, even though admonished to do so by Pope Leo X, he was excommunicated and branded an outlaw. Thus started the Protestant Reformation.

Now, I don't know if you were aware of this or not, but indulgences are still granted by the Pope to this very day. In fact, now's your chance to get one! If you are forward thinking enough and have a Twitter account (it's free!), you can get an indulgence (maybe more than one?) between July 23rd and 28th. How? Let me explain.

No, there is too much.

Let me sum up.

July 23rd through the 28th is World Youth Day in Brazil. And though it seems like that's really more like World Youth Week than World Youth Day, the Pope has decided that he is going to be granting indulgences via Twitter to his nearly 2.7 million Twitter followers.

The only requirement is that you have to somehow "tune in the world to World Youth Day broadcasts or take other spiritual actions." What those actions are, I'm not sure, but according to the Vatican, this whole Twitter idea is a way for the "faithful to get the spiritual benefits of World Youth Day even if they can't be there."

Before you get out the clubs and pitchforks, let me assure you that I am NOT making fun of Catholics. Having served my LDS mission in Argentina, I have the utmost respect for the Catholic Church. I worked with them every day for two years. I've seen what good that church can do, and I have seen plenty of good people who were associated with it. And I'm being serious about that.

But indulgences? Via Twitter? REALLY?

I'm all for forgiveness, believe me. I, among all men, need it most. But what about Godly sorrow? What about making amends? What about confessing? All of these are NECESSARY steps to being forgiven. It's a hard, long, drawn-out process that's supposed to take a lifetime. Can you really just follow a Twitter feed and be forgiven? Sounds pretty easy!

Wait for it. This one was even better! In 2001, then Pope John Paul 2 granted indulgences to anyone who walked through the bronze door of St. Peter's Basilica in Rome. Get that? Walk through a door! That's all you had to do! Dang it! And where was I that day? Mowing my lawn! You mean to tell me I'm going to have to spend more time in purgatory because my lawn was too high? Dang it!!

Now that I've thought about this a little more, though, I am kind of warming up the idea of social media being a good source of forgiveness. Heck, maybe I'll mention it to the Bishop when I see him at Church on Sunday. Maybe I can get him to cut me some slack because I'm his friend on Facebook. After all, I HAVE been coveting a new cell phone lately.

Where is Martin Luther when you need him?

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The Fear

The fear sits alone inside my heart,
No friends to keep company.
Sometimes it stands and tries to speak,
And show off it's buff physique.
But no one will stand to accompany,
At long last it breaks apart.

Like nervous sheep on a moonless night
I wait on the coyote's howl.
The blood and the fangs will surely flash,
When brawn and clever finally clash,
The fear is back on the prowl.
And I am left doused in fright.

The fear sits alone, scared of itself,
And so it does all it can
To lash out and wound and take control.
But Another's there and on patrol.
A calming touch, a gentle hand
To redeem me from myself.

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Day Three - Panama Canal

Today was the day we got to sleep in! YES!!

It was also the day we were going to do some things the kids actually wanted to do. Like go to the Panama Canal.

I've been hearing about this canal my whole life, how it was one of the major miracles of the world, one of the greatest things man had ever accomplished. After seeing it, I must agree. Pretty danged cool.

We watched some smaller boats go through, but seeing how they close the locks, let the water out (or in) and fill the adjacent locks to the same level, then open the gates and let them through was pretty cool. I found myself wishing I'd see Ginger and Mary Ann out for a three hour tour, but no. Just some drunk guys on the deck of the catamaran. Oh, well. Next time we go to Panama, maybe.

The photo on the left above is of Hannah and me before we went up to view the locks. That's the visitor's center in the background. We were at the Miraflores locks. If you want to look it up on the map, it's here.

The second photo is of the gates that closed so they could even up the water levels in the different sides. If you look closely, you can see the different levels of water on either side. It only takes them about ten minutes to level them up, too. Danged cool.

The third pic is of Hannah at the controls. Note the quality of the haircut on the guy next to her. Now that's comedy! "What do you mean you're giving it all you've got, Scotty? I need more power!!"

After the canal we headed over to the Caiz de Armador, which connects Naos Island, Perico Island and Flamenco Island to the mainland. These islands, were not there when the world was created. They were created by all of the dirt that was dug out for the canal. Imagine, if you will, that you are the head dude digging all of that dirt out of the Panamanian landscape. What in the world do you do with it all? Sell it for topsoil? I think not, McDuff. Of course, you make a new island, or two, or three. Instead of making the mountains higher, they made the ocean lower, making islands where the people can go and goof off. And goof off they do!

The two pictures on the far right above are of Hannah and Jacob riding Segues on the islands. Fun times, man. Hannah wrecked, I got run into by some kids on a bicycle built for two, and Jacob nearly ran into the Pacific Ocean because he couldn't make the danged thing stopped. I kept yelling at him, "Lean back! Lean back!" He finally got it to stop, but after that he went A LOT slower.

Now look at the fourth picture from the left. If you blow it up you'll see a bus in the water. Not a great shot, but it's a bus in the water, nonetheless. We were sitting eating lunch (just before the Segue rides) and saw what looked like a bus gliding through the water. As it got nearer it looked more and more like a bus. "But, Ralph. How can a bus float on the water?" "Good question, Ed. I don't know." But it was a bus, I swear! It floated right up to the a road and drove up into the parking lot. Amazing! Gives new meaning the old term busman's holiday.

Nothing left to do today but put the B&B address into the GPS and drive home. Bless Garmin for their wonderful little invention. I don't know how we would have gotten around Panama without it. Of course, we had to drive through some of the nastier parts of Panama City, as evidenced by some of the pix below, but it was a good edumacation for the kiddos. Not everyone in this beautiful world lives in the same semi-luxury they do. I think that goes way underappreciated today.

By the way, don't let me EVER give you the impression that Panama is nothing but a gorgeous land with WONDERFUL people. They have problems just like everyone else.

Peace out!

Coming soon - Day Four - Pipeline Road

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Sitting at My Window on a Beautiful Day (with thanks to Robert Frost)

I sit in my cube, the window bare.
I look outside at what is there.
The clouds, the birds, the rain, the sun.
Such pretty things. I sit and stare.

Inside of me a war is run.
It aches my heart when even one
Of God's good children turns away.
From this good fight we've all begun.

Can't they see the beautiful way
That God's created the world today?
The things beheld from my window keep,
Fill me with joy as I make my way.

Please think to see and then to keep
The sacred things we hold so deep.
For at the end, ere we fall asleep
The beautiful things we all can reap.
The beautiful things we all can reap.
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Wall of Cold

I like to go on vacation
where there's a lot of surf and sun.
I like to put on the sunblock
and bake until I'm done.
But the best is going back to the room
(I treasure it as gold),
And opening up the hotel door
and feeling the wall of cold.

I've been to the jungles of Panama,
and seen lots of birds and such.
I've been to Costa Rica where
the bugs are just too much.
I've skied in Utah, laid on the beach,
gone wherever my life has rolled.
But the greatest thing about any trip
is feeling the wall of cold.

I've seen dart frogs in the rainforest,
and sailed on the ocean blue.
I've rafted in West Virginia, and
visited old Yellowstone, too.
Visited Mickey and all of his friends,
where joy is so uncontrolled.
But the thing I like best at the end of the day
is feeling the wall of cold.

England, Germany, Holland and Wales.
Ireland and Belgium and France.
I've seen them all and had a great time,
And even had some romance.
Caught some games at the old Yankee park
With joy that I could not withhold.
But the greatest of these was turning the key
and feeling that wall of cold.

I've climbed a volcano on the Big Island
and bungeed in Charlotte, NC, too.
I've ridden some roller coasters
and driven without a clue.
I'd do them all again someday.
I say it loud and bold.
'Cause anywhere you go is great
if you can just feel the wall of cold.

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Day Two - Parque Metropolitano

I never imagined how miserable life could be without a camera battery.

You see, I left mine at home.

Knucklehead!

Dope!

Dimwit!

IDIOTA!!

Believe me, I've called myself every one of those names and way more since discovering early that second day that I had indeed left the battery at home. In fact, the Geoffrey's Tamarin (which species we saw) above has the look on his face that Kelly had when I told her. "You did what?"

I just left the battery, though, not the camera nor the lenses. Nothing like carrying around a useless paperweight while on vacation.

Oh, well. Pucker up and kiss the ugly fat girl on the jaw (sorry). There's nothing else you can do, because evidently Nikon does not supply Panama with any of their fine products. I tried.

So, every picture you see here was either taken with my Ipad, my little point and shoot Kodak, or is borrowed from some anonymous user on my Google machine. Talk about disappointing.

To finally get down to it, day two was dedicated to birding. We hired a dude named Gonzalo to show us around, and show us around he did. I think we got a good 30 different species of birds at the Parque Metropolitano, a large natural park in the middle of Panama City. To give you a little better understand of where it is and how big it is, there's a map here.

Just a few of the birds we saw on this day (not my pictures) were:

Blue Dacnis Dusky Antbird Common Potoo White-Necked Puffbird Red-Crowned Woodpecker Squirrel Cuckoo

It was a long walk around the park, most of the morning. We also saw Howlers (my favorites), a Coatimondi (look it up here, some Tamarins, and a Two-Toed Sloth. All in all, a great first day in the country, except for the fact that I was almost mauled by the Coatimundi. Thank goodness there were no Coatimundi ankle-biters with dear 'ole dad. He would have been on me like stink on a skunk.

Then Gonzalo would have really earned his money.

Coming soon - Day Three - The Panama Canal

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Panama - The Adventure Begins

Huh?
What the heck?
What's that sound?
The alarm?
Why's it going off at 2:27 in the blessed AM?
Pana-what?
Oh, yea!

Panama!!!

Yea, baby! Get up, take a shower, get ready. Three o'clock taxi. At Dulles Airport by 4. Check in, through security (take off your shoes, Alice!), hurry up and wait at the gate for a couple of hours and then on the plane by 6 and out of the US by noon. Early morning to be sure. We were all dog-tired, as evidenced by the picture to the left, but as the next few blog entries should attest, it was so, so worth it!

The first stop on our itinerary was Miami. Very nice airport with trains and everything, but boy is it crowded. So many ants endeavoring to get to their own hills. After a few hours of layover, we got on our plane and headed over the Caribbean Sea (first time I've ever seen Cuba) toward Panama. Flying in there was all kinds of rain. It's the start of the rainy season in Panama, and my heart sank a little when I saw how much rain there actually was. Not to worry. It hardly rained at all while we were there, and I don't remember it once coming down in buckets.

After claiming our bags, we headed to customs. Now, if you're a local, all it took to get through customs was your driver's license and a smile. Walk on through, brotha, and get on home. If you're not Panamanian, however, well, that's another story. See the photo to the right? That's the Disney line to get to customs for Los Yanquis. It's kind of a blurry picture, but it gives you the idea. Once we were at the front of the line we had our pictures taken as well as our fingerprints. See that cop standing over there? That's an Uzi he's got in his hand. Dude, there's no messing with the Panamanians.

Once the government had exacted their pound of flesh, we got our rental car and headed out. To say that this car was small is to say that Paul Bunyon was an average sized guy. Just a little bit of a understatement. Just a little. I called this thing our clown car. There were four of us who rode in this car most of the time. Each of us had an average of 2 1/2 bags, one of which you could almost crawl into and shut the lid. When we were in this car without any bags, like when we were going birding or something like that, the people in the back seat could almost literally read the tag in the back of the driver's shirt. I mean, it was SMALL!

You couldn't have fit more than 10 clowns in that thing, and some of them would have had to be kids. Good thing the other four of us had a larger car in which we could put a sizable amount of our bags. Still, the two people in the back had to sit nearly on top of each other. It was awful. I just laughed when I looked at it for the first time.

After we used a borrowed shoe horn to get everyone in the two cars, we broke out the GPS I'd brought from home and high-tailed it to our first Bed and Breakfast. More like a Bed and once-in-a-while Breakfast, but a nice place, nonetheless. Pool. Tennis court. Basketball goal. Outdoor kitchen/dining area. Beautiful. You can see Jacob lounging by the pool in the photo on the right. That is the house we stayed in. The rest of our party (Kelly's mom and her husband, and Kelly's brother and his wife) stayed in the main house. The solitary life was very nice. Lots to be said for privacy.

We used the rest of that first day (Friday) to rest up from our trip, to get acquainted with our surroundings and enjoy the hospitality of our hosts. Nice folks at the Coconut Lodge.

But I must mention here that Panamanian drivers are NUTS! If they are in the next lane and are ahead of you by two millimeters, they are going to try and come over in front of you, mostly without signals. Pedestrians just walk out into traffic without the slightest worry. Motorcycles driver between cars. My mouth is still agape that we didn't see anyone killed. Dogs sleep right next to the road. Kids walk to and from school IN THE ROAD. People ride their bikes in the middle of the lane. It's absolutely amazing. It seems there are no rules whatsoever. I will give you one piece of advice, though. ALWAYS carry your drivers license. I got stopped three times and once didn't have it. Almost landed me a ticket. Lucky for me I have a cute body. Ba ha ha ha ha ha!! Anyway, view the video here as evidence that I lie not.

Coming soon - Day Two - Parque Metropolitano

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I Can Miss Like That

I run around a lot of courts
of the basketball kind near here.
I lace up my Ked's
And run with purebreds.
And then kind of just disappear.

For most of the guys I play with
Seem to think they're in combat.
When I can't hit a lick
And put up a brick
They seem to wish I'd just scat.

'Cause once I miss a couple of shots,
Or two or three or ten,
They neglect to pass
And then, oh, alas,
It seems I'm left alone again.

For all of those selfsame players
Who doink shots off of the iron
Will all look away.
They won't look my way
And I don't get the passes I earn.

G'head, take all those shots, my buddies
Hitting iron or board or air.
I can't buy a pass
I'm above your age class
But I still haven't got a prayer.

You'd rather I sat on the sidelines
And watch all your glorious play,
Instead of me playing.
Hey, guys, I'm just saying.
The message I'm trying to convey,

Is that none of you are real professionals.
We're all really there to have fun.
But it's no fun for me
When you so egregiously
Think that I can be so easily outdone.

These days I may be somewhat slower
Than I was before you were e'en begat.
But let me just say
All your dreams I'll allay
Hey guys! I can miss just like that!

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These Things I Love (My Hallmark Greeting Card Poem)

Star that twinkle.
The sun so bright.
Harvest moon
On a cloudless night.

Sleeping quite late
On a Saturday.
Mountains so high.
A western day.

Precious honeysuckle
When it blooms in spring.
And all the joy
That Christmas brings.

My children's laugh
And a cool, cool stream.
Watching tv
And having a dream.

Playing some ball
And puffy white clouds.
My children's talents
That make me proud.

Bright yellow flowers
And purple and white.
A nice cool zephyr
And flying a kite.

The smell of lilac.
Sunsets out west.
The smell of a baby
And being the best.

All of these things
I love so profound.
They give me such joy
Like nothing I've found.

But there's one other thing
I love most in my life.
I love none of these things
Like I do my sweet wife.

Going Up To Paradise

My poor heart aches,
And I want to weep.
Would it be better
To drown in the deep
Than feel the pain
This world provides?
Lord, give me the peace
That in Thee abides.

One day I'm going up
To visit Paradise.
I'll be wearing good clothes
'Cause I hear it's nice.
And when I get way up there
I ain't never gonna leave.
My reward in Paradise
Is what I work to achieve.

I feel so lost
On this big old earth.
Sometimes I feel so lonely
Like I've lost all worth.
I can feel the nails
As they pierce my soul.
And I find myself wishing
I could regain control.

One day I'm going up
To visit Paradise.
I'll be wearing good clothes
'Cause I hear it's nice.
And when I get way up there
I ain't never gonna leave.
My reward in Paradise
Is what I work to achieve.

And one day when the scars are healed
And I remember them no more,
I'll kiss my Savior's feet at last as
Tears of joy fall on the floor.

But for a few more years
I think I'll stay right here
And enjoy the life
That my Savior dear
Has given me to live
Before I live in Paradise.
And when I finally go
It will be oh, so very nice.

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